Post-Abortion Support

Is it normal to grieve after an abortion?

“It’s normal to grieve a pregnancy loss, including the loss of a child by abortion. It can form a hole in one’s heart, a hole so deep that sometimes nothing can fill the emptiness.”
– Hope After Abortion

Vida offers one-on-one support; group support; and contacts to online studies, healing retreats, and referrals to community resources for individuals following an abortion.

Vida has staff members and mentors who have been where you are. You are not alone. Help is available. Request for an appointment below or call Vida at 920-731-4354 for more information and resources.

Important: If you are experiencing immediate physical problems after an abortion such as pain, bleeding, fever, or nausea, please call your doctor now or go to an emergency room.

How do I feel after an abortion?

If you have recently had an abortion, there are common issues and emotions you may encounter immediately after the decision.

Hormones: Your hormones are in the process of shifting back to a non-pregnant state. Having unbalanced hormones leads many to experience emotional ups and downs. When you feel overwhelmed, remind yourself that your body is changing and be patient.

Follow-Up: Schedule a follow-up exam by a physician to ensure that your procedure was appropriate and for any needed follow-up care.

Relief: Feeling “relieved” is a very common emotion after abortion. The “crisis” is over, and the situation has been resolved for many women after abortion. This relief can be temporary. Other emotions (anger, grief, depression) can find their way into your life in the days, months, and years to come.

Anger: It is normal to be angry after an abortion experience. Anger is the most typical emotion endured after this procedure. This is particularly true if you were pressured by others to abort. Hormonal imbalances impact all emotional reactions, particularly related to anger. Anger can be directed at non-abortion related situations in your life, sometimes years later. This is a sign you are struggling with PTSD.

Grief: You have experienced a pregnancy loss, regardless of the fact that it may have been your choice. Give yourself permission to grieve this pregnancy loss.

Pregnancy Urgency: Some post-abortive women feel an urgency to become pregnant again as soon as possible. Some mothers seek to “replace” the lost child with another baby. Many who successfully become pregnant again may find themselves facing the same pressure and lack of support from those around them. They can very easily abort again and again.

The “A” Word: When you hear the word “abortion” in conversation or media coverage, understand that it can trigger psychological pain. If anxiety, anger, or pain comes over you at the mention of this term, you may need some help in addressing this past choice.

Do I have PTSD?

So what, I had an abortion, that’s in the past. Do I really need healing?

Millions of women are suffering from untreated emotional, spiritual, psychological, and physical trauma of a past abortion. Most do not realize their daily struggles are connected to their reproductive loss. Months and years can go by without any memory of the abortion, yet seemingly unrelated things can trigger frustrating emotional reactions. There is help and healing from this trauma.

Ask Yourself:

Do you feel reluctant to talk about the subject of abortion?
Do you tend to think of your life in terms of “before” and “after” the abortion?
Do you feel anger towards people involved in your abortion? (ex: the baby’s father, friends, or your parents)
Have you found yourself either avoiding relationships or becoming overly dependent in them since the abortion?
Did you increase the use of drugs or alcohol after the abortion?
Do you or did you develop an eating disorder after the abortion? (ex: restricting calories or binging)
Are you overly protective of any children you have now? Is it hard to bond with your living children? Do you feel disqualified as a parent?
Do you have anxiety when the abortion is discussed? (ex: by others, in media, during debates.)
Does hearing individuals promote abortion as a “safe and legal” cause you to be irritable?
Do you participate in self-punishing behaviors? Have you stayed in an abusive relationship because you felt you “deserved” the abuse?
Have you had intimacy struggles? Have you become sexually promiscuous since your abortion? Does sex remind you of getting pregnant? Does the fear of unplanned pregnancies or physical pain cause you to refrain from sex?
Is it hard to be honest on a doctor’s intake form about your abortion or the number of pregnancies you’ve had? Do pap-smears feel like a traumatic event?
Do certain noises bother you? (ex: music you enjoyed during that period in your life, vacuum cleaners, dentist’s drilling, or toilet flushing if you endured a medication abortion.)

What is the Abortion Recovery Roadmap?

Everyone’s healing journey looks different. Here are four paths to healing you can take depending on what works best for you:

1. One-on-One In-Person Mentoring
Vida provides caring one-on-one in-person mentoring for those seeking to heal from the pain of reproductive loss from an abortion. Call us for more info at 920-731-4354 or online here.

2. In-Person Support Groups
Vida regularly runs support groups and group Bible studies for those looking to be set free from the grief of reproductive loss from an abortion. Call us for more info at 920-731-4354 or learn more about Forgiven and Set Free. The next Forgiven and Set Free session starts August 21, 2024.

3. Self-Paced Online Studies
Vida realizes that sometimes private healing at your own pace may be what you’re looking for. We recommend the free online program Her Choice to Heal. A helpful course outline with links can be found here.

4. Healing Retreats
Vida recognizes the quick and powerful deliverance that takes place during a weekend healing retreat.

We recommend RachelsVineyard.org for Catholic retreats and GoDeeperStill.org for Evangelical retreats.

What is Vida's Walk to Remember?

Although circumstances of losses greatly vary, there is a common need shared to remember all the children whose precious lives ended too soon, grieve and heal from such loss, and know that you are not alone.

Vida holds an annual Walk to Remember. Walk to Remember is a memorial walk to remember children lost through abortion, miscarriage, stillbirth, early infant/childhood death, and other reproductive losses.

This walk and memorial is for all families who have lost children at any time, both recently or in the past; caregivers who are involved in the lives and support of these families; and anyone interested in attending in support.

Let us gather together to walk, to remember, and to offer support to one another.